I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
