well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
