Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
