the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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