There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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