Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
