If that was your dad, he is hot
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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