i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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