Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
