I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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