My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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