talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
