Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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