I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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