Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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