Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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