Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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