At least make sure they are 18
Why
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
