I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
