You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
