yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
