My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I smell stomach acid.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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