If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
