I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
