i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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