I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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