im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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