I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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