Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
She needs sedatives and a leash
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
