i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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