i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
