he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
