I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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