i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
