ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think a kid would responsible me up
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.