I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
People Weigh In On Whether Itâ€™s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night