you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
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Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
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He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.