Where is the hickey?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
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ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.