I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
