Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
