I puked a lego.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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