And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
