I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
