mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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