i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
