he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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