apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
