Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
