yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Even my vagina gasped.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
