I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
