Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I need water and some morals
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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