Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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