thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
