i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize