i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
