I hate your face
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
