Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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