we have pet lesbian snakes
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
