I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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