He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
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Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
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I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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