I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
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