I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
third nipple confirmed
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Pants are for mortals
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
