if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
