So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
