I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
