they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
